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I heard thus:
At one time the Blessed One lived in the monastery offered by Anathapindika, in Jeta’s grove in Savatthi. At that time the only dearly loved son of a certain householder had died. On account of that, the householder would neither go for his work nor eat any food. He would go to the cemetery again and again crying. ‘Where is my only son?’ Eventually he approached the Blessed One, worshipped and sat on a side. The Blessed One said to him. "Householder, your mental faculties are not established, they have undergone a change"
"Venerable sir, how could my mental faculties not undergo a change? My dearly loved only son died and on account of that I neither go for work, nor take any food. I go to the cemetery again and again crying ‘where is my only son?’"
"Householder, it is so, dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress, the little pleasure gained is insignificant " That householder not pleased with those words, and not accepting them, got up and went away.
At that time, some people were gambling close to the place where the Blessed One was living. He approached them and said. "Sirs, I approached the Blessed One, worshipped him and sat on a side, then the Blessed One said. Householder, your mental faculties are not established, they have undergone a change. Then I said, venerable sir, how could my mental faculties not undergo a change. My dearly loved only son died and on account of that I neither go for work nor eat any food. I go to the cemetery again and again crying ‘where is my only son? Then the Blessed One said, householder, it is so, dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress, the little pleasure gained is insignificant. Sirs, how could dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and how could the pleasure be insignificant? Sirs, dear ones bring much pleasantness and the displeasure is insignificant. I was not pleased with those words, got up and came away. ‘Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress the little pleasure gained is insignificant.’ Whatever the reply the Blessed One gives, learn it thoroughly and inform me. Thus Gone Ones do not talk words that are not truthful. The Brahmin, agreeing to do so, approached the Blessed One, exchanged friendly greetings, sat on a side and said. "Good Gotama, queen Mallika worships the feet of the Blessed One and asks, is the Blessed One with few ailments, few troubles and a light living. Further queen Mallika asks whether the Blessed One has said these words. ‘Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure gained out of them is insignificant?"
"Brahmin, that is so, dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress, whatever the pleasure gained, is insignificant."
"Brahmin, it should be known in this manner how dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and how the pleasure gained out of them is insignificant. In the past in this same Savatthi there was a woman, whose mother died. On account of that she was deranged in mind and ran from one street to the other and from one junction to the next and asked. ‘Did anyone see my mother?’
Again it should be known thus. In the past in this same Savatthi there was a woman, whose father died…whose brother died…whose sister died…whose son died…whose daughter died, whose husband died On account of that she was deranged in mind and ran from one street to the other, from one junction to the next and asked. Did anyone see my husband?
Brahmin, it should be known, in this manner too how dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and how the pleasure gained out of them is insignificant. In the past in this same Savatthi, there was a man whose mother died. On account of that he was deranged in mind and ran from one street to the other, from one junction to the next and asked. ‘Did anyone see my mother?’
Again it should be known thus. In the past in this same Savatthi there was a man, whose father died…whose brother died…whose sister died…whose son died…whose daughter died, whose wife died On account of that he was deranged in mind and ran from one street to the other, from one junction to the next and asked. Did anyone see my wife?
Brahmin, it should be known in this manner too how dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and how the pleasure gained out of them is insignificant. In the past in this same Savatthi a certain woman went to live with her husband. Her relations wanted to break her away from her husband and give her to another man. She told her husband, dear one, my relations want to take me away from you and give me to another man, I do not like it. He split that woman in two and killed her. Saying we will meet after death. It should be known in this manner, how dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and how the pleasure gained out of them is insignificant."
The Brahmin Naalijangha pleased and appreciating the words of the Blessed One getting up from his seat, approached queen Mallika, and informed her all the conversation that was exchanged. Queen Mallika approached king Pasenadi of Kosala and asked him.’Great king is princess Vajiri dear to you?"
"Indeed, Mallika princess Vajiri is dear to me."
"If princess Vajiri dies, would grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to you?"
"Mallika if princess Vajiri dies, even my life would be in danger, why should not grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to me?"
"Great king, it was on account of this that it was said dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure here is insignificant. Great king, is the warrior Waasabha dear to you?"
"Indeed Mallika, the warrior Waasabha is dear to me."
"If the warrior Waasabha dies, would grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to you?"
"Mallika, if the warrior Waasabha dies, even my life would be in danger, why should not grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to me."
"Great king, it was on account of this that the Blessed One who knows and sees, is perfect and rightfully enlightened has said. Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure gained from them is insignificant. Great king, is the general Widuudabha dear to you?"
"Indeed, Mallika, the general Widuudabha is dear to me."
"If the general Widuudabha dies, would grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to you?"
"Mallika, if the general Waduudabha dies, even my life would be in danger, why should not grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to me?"
"Great king, it was on account of this that the Blessed One who knows and sees, is perfect and rightfully enlightened has said. Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure gained from them is insignificant. Great king, am I dear to you?"
"Indeed, Mallika, you are dear to me."
"If I die would grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to you?"
"Mallika, if you die, even my life would be in danger, why should not grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to me?."
"Great king, it was on account of this that the Blessed One who knows and sees and is perfect and rightfully enlightened has said. Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure gained from them is insignificant. Great king, is Kashmir and Kosala dear to you?"
"Indeed, Mallika they are dear to me. On account of the two countries Kashmir and Kosala I partake Kashmir scents, garlands and anointments."
"If you lose Kashmir and Kosala, would grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to you?"
"Mallika, if I lose Kashmir and Kosala, even my life would be in danger, why should not grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress arise to me?."
"Great king, it was on account of this that the Blessed One who knows and sees is perfect and rightfully enlightened has said. Dear ones bring grief, lament, unpleasantness and distress and the pleasure gained from them is insignificant."
"Mallika it is wonderful and surprising, the Blessed One penetratingly sees. Mallika, pardon me."
King Pasenadi of Kosala got up from his seat arranged the shawl on his shoulder clasping hands towards the direction in which the Blessed One was, uttered a solemn utterance three times.’ I worship that Blessed One, perfect and rightfully enlightened.’"